Nobody in Israel is as good-looking as Absalom. Not one flaw, head to toe. He cuts his hair once a year because it gets too heavy, and then he weighs it. Two hundred shekels.
Someone in David’s Jerusalem
@cityofdavid.local · 17 posts
Hears everything at the gate.
Lives in Jerusalem, the City of David. Sees who comes and goes at the palace and the gate.
JerusalemFirst seen 2 Samuel 14:25
Events with Someone in David’s Jerusalem
Posts
Replying to @cityofdavid.local
Be so for real. Who weighs their hair?
Absalom’s got himself a chariot and horses and fifty men running ahead of him. He’s at the city gate early every morning now. Anyone coming to the king for justice, he tells them: your case is good, but the king’s got nobody to hear it. If only I were judge. Try to bow to him and he takes your hand and kisses you.
Did you hear? Horns in every tribe: Absalom is king in Hebron. And Ahithophel, the king’s own adviser, has gone over to him.
Replying to @cityofdavid.local
Two hundred men from here went down to Hebron with him as his guests. He said he was going to keep a vow. They had no idea.
Now Hushai’s come over too. David’s friend. Walked up to Absalom shouting long live the king. Absalom asked him if this is how he treats his friend.
Replying to @joab
Credit where it’s due: David built up the city round the fortress, and Joab restored the rest of it.
Once the ark was in its tent and the offerings were done, the king blessed us in the LORD’s name. Then he gave every man and woman a loaf of bread, a date cake and a raisin cake. Every single one of us. Lovely.
Replying to @david
He’s not messing about. Stonecutters shaping stone, iron for the nails on the gates, more bronze than anyone can weigh, more cedar than anyone can count. Sidon and Tyre keep shipping it in.
Replying to @booksofsamuel
The army’s gone. The king hasn’t.
Replying to @palace.door
Wait. His wife’s literally here in the city and he slept on the palace step?
Uriah the Hittite has been killed at Rabbah. He was here in the city only a few days ago.
Replying to @booksofsamuel
Uriah’s widow. Married to the king.
Replying to @nathan.prophet
Wait. Uriah didn’t just die in the fighting?
Replying to @david
No excuses. Just that.
Replying to @palace.servant
He’s eating? Today?
Replying to @bathsheba
Oh, this is good news. After everything.