Floating axe heads, a four-metre bed, a coin in a fish. All in there.
Way back · Things that shouldn't do that · The sky did what? · Prophets doing strange things · Kings who didn't see it coming · Not dead after all · It kept happening · And the strangest of all
Before most of the stories people know, there's this.
Adam’s family tree, Adam to Noah, ten generations. Entry after entry ends “and then he died.” Except one. Enoch walked with God, and then he wasn’t there, because God took him.
So Adam lived a total of 930 years, and then he died. Enoch walked with God, and then he was no more, because God had taken him away.
Replying to @moses
Also, Enoch’s son Methuselah: 969. Nobody has beaten it.
So Methuselah lived a total of 969 years, and then he died.
A city, and a tower right up to the sky. We make a name for ourselves, and nobody gets scattered all over the earth. Honestly can’t see a downside.
“Come,” they said, “let us build for ourselves a city with a tower that reaches to the heavens, that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of all the earth.”
Alone that night by the Jabbok. A man wrestled with me until daybreak. When he saw he couldn’t win, he touched my hip and wrenched it out of joint. He said, “Let me go, it’s dawn.” I said I won’t let you go unless you bless me.
During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants, and his eleven sons, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, along with all his possessions. So Jacob was left all alone, and there a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower Jacob, he struck the socket of Jacob’s hip and dislocated it as they wrestled. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
Replying to @jacob
He asked my name. Jacob. He said: not any more. Israel, because you have struggled with God and with people, and you have won.
“What is your name?” the man asked. “Jacob,” he replied. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men, and you have prevailed.”
Og, king of Bashan, was the last of the giants. His bed was iron and about four metres long.
(For only Og king of Bashan had remained of the remnant of the Rephaim. His bed of iron, nine cubits long and four cubits wide, is still in Rabbah of the Ammonites.)
Replying to @moses
Hold on. Where’s the bed now?
(For only Og king of Bashan had remained of the remnant of the Rephaim. His bed of iron, nine cubits long and four cubits wide, is still in Rabbah of the Ammonites.)
There was a giant at Gath with six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot. Twenty-four. David’s nephew Jonathan killed him.
And there was also a battle at Gath, where there was a man of great stature with six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot—twenty-four in all. He too was descended from Rapha, and when he taunted Israel, Jonathan the son of David’s brother Shimei killed him.
A staff, a donkey, an axe head, a fish, a pot of stew.
He turned my staff into a snake. I ran. Yes, I ran.
And the LORD asked him, “What is that in your hand?” “A staff,” he replied. “Throw it on the ground,” said the LORD. So Moses threw it on the ground, and it became a snake, and he ran from it. “Stretch out your hand and grab it by the tail,” the LORD said to Moses, who reached out his hand and caught the snake, and it turned back into a staff in his hand.
Set off for Moab on my donkey, two of my servants with me. Three times she went off the road. She crushed my foot against a wall. Then she just lay down under me. Three times I beat her. Then she talked.
So in the morning Balaam got up, saddled his donkey, and went with the princes of Moab. Then God’s anger was kindled because Balaam was going along, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding his donkey, and his two servants were with him. When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the path and went into a field. So Balaam beat her to return her to the path. Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow passage between two vineyards, with walls on either side. And the donkey saw the angel of the LORD and pressed herself against the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. So he beat her once again. And the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn to the right or left. When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he became furious and beat her with his staff. Then the LORD opened the donkey’s mouth, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you that you have beaten me these three times?”
Breakfast by raven. Supper by raven. Bread and meat, both times.
The ravens would bring him bread and meat in the morning and evening, and he would drink from the brook.
Next time he passes, bees have made honey in the lion's carcass. He scoops some out, eats it as he walks, and gives some to his mum and dad. He doesn't say where it came from.
When Samson returned later to take her, he left the road to see the lion’s carcass, and in it was a swarm of bees, along with their honey. So he scooped some honey into his hands and ate it as he went along. And when he returned to his father and mother, he gave some to them and they ate it. But he did not tell them that he had taken the honey from the lion’s carcass.
Famine at Gilgal. Someone went out for herbs and came back with a cloak full of wild gourds nobody recognised, and chopped them into the stew. First mouthful, people are shouting: man of God, there’s death in the pot! He threw in some flour. Serve it up, he said. And there was nothing wrong with it.
When Elisha returned to Gilgal, there was a famine in the land. As the sons of the prophets were sitting at his feet, he said to his attendant, “Put on the large pot and boil some stew for the sons of the prophets.” One of them went out to the field to gather herbs, and he found a wild vine from which he gathered as many wild gourds as his garment could hold. Then he came back and cut them up into the pot of stew, though no one knew what they were. And they poured it out for the men to eat, but when they tasted the stew they cried out, “There is death in the pot, O man of God!” And they could not eat it. Then Elisha said, “Get some flour.” He threw it into the pot and said, “Pour it out for the people to eat.” And there was nothing harmful in the pot.
We were cutting trees by the Jordan to build a new place to live, and my axe head flew off into the water. Oh no. It was borrowed! Elisha asked where it went in, cut a stick and threw it there, and the iron floated. I just reached out and picked it up.
Now the sons of the prophets said to Elisha, “Please take note that the place where we meet with you is too small for us. Please let us go to the Jordan, where each of us can get a log so we can build ourselves a place to live there.” “Go,” said Elisha. Then one of them said, “Please come with your servants.” “I will come,” he replied. So Elisha went with them, and when they came to the Jordan, they began to cut down some trees. As one of them was cutting down a tree, the iron axe head fell into the water. “Oh, my master,” he cried out, “it was borrowed!” “Where did it fall?” asked the man of God. And when he showed him the place, the man of God cut a stick, threw it there, and made the iron float. “Lift it out,” he said, and the man reached out his hand and took it.
Running the feast at this wedding in Cana. Just tasted what they brought me. Normally you serve the good wine first, and the cheap stuff once everyone's had plenty. This lot have kept the best till now. Where on earth did it come from?
and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not know where it was from, but the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone serves the fine wine first, and then the cheap wine after the guests are drunk. But you have saved the fine wine until now!”
Replying to @cana_feastmaster
The servants knew. They'd drawn it from the water jars.
and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not know where it was from, but the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside
Tax collectors asked me if our teacher pays the temple tax. I said yes. Then, I kid you not, he sends me fishing: take the first fish I catch, open its mouth, and there’ll be a coin in there. Enough for his tax and mine.
After they had arrived in Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma tax came to Peter and asked, “Does your Teacher pay the two drachmas?” “Yes,” he answered. When Peter entered the house, Jesus preempted him. “What do you think, Simon?” He asked. “From whom do the kings of the earth collect customs and taxes: from their own sons, or from others?” “From others,” Peter answered. “Then the sons are exempt,” Jesus said to him. “But so that we may not offend them, go to the sea, cast a hook, and take the first fish you catch. When you open its mouth, you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for My tax and yours.”
genuine question. there are thin white flakes all over the ground this morning, fine as frost. what is it
When the layer of dew had evaporated, there were thin flakes on the desert floor, as fine as frost on the ground. When the Israelites saw it, they asked one another, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was. So Moses told them, “It is the bread that the LORD has given you to eat.
Replying to @israelite.manna
It’s the bread the LORD has given you to eat.
When the Israelites saw it, they asked one another, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was. So Moses told them, “It is the bread that the LORD has given you to eat.
Sun, stand still over Gibeon. Moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.
On the day that the LORD gave the Amorites over to the Israelites, Joshua spoke to the LORD in the presence of Israel: “O sun, stand still over Gibeon, O moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.”
Replying to @isaiah
I asked what the sign would be that I’d go up to the LORD’s temple again.
And Hezekiah had asked, “What will be the sign that I will go up to the house of the LORD?”
Replying to @king.hezekiah
The shadow on Ahaz’s stairway. The LORD would make it go back ten steps. And it did. The sunlight went back up the ten steps it had come down.
This will be a sign to you from the LORD that He will do what He has promised: I will make the sun’s shadow that falls on the stairway of Ahaz go back ten steps.’” So the sunlight went back the ten steps it had descended.
They’re still walking along, talking, when a chariot of fire with horses of fire comes between them, and Elijah goes up to heaven in a whirlwind.
As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire with horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up into heaven in a whirlwind.
Sometimes the message came as a sign, and the sign was the prophet.
Moses came down the mountain with the two tablets and his face was shining. Actually shining. He had no idea. The rest of us were too scared to go near him.
And when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was unaware that his face had become radiant from speaking with the LORD. Aaron and all the Israelites looked at Moses, and behold, his face was radiant. And they were afraid to approach him.
Replying to @aaron
He wears a veil now. Only takes it off to talk to the LORD.
When Moses had finished speaking with them, he put a veil over his face. But whenever Moses went in before the LORD to speak with Him, he would remove the veil until he came out. And when he came out, he would tell the Israelites what he had been commanded, and the Israelites would see that the face of Moses was radiant. So Moses would put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with the LORD.
Driving the king down to Jezreel in this. And there’s a man running in front of the horses.
Meanwhile, the sky grew dark with clouds and wind, and a heavy rain began to fall. So Ahab rode away and went to Jezreel. And the hand of the LORD came upon Elijah, and he tucked his cloak into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.
Replying to @drives.the.king
Cloak tucked into his belt. It’s Elijah.
And the hand of the LORD came upon Elijah, and he tucked his cloak into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.
Today: a brick. Drew Jerusalem on it. Then built a siege round it. Siege wall, ramp, camps, battering rams on every side. Put an iron plate between me and it, and turned my face towards it.
“Now you, son of man, take a brick, place it before you, and draw on it the city of Jerusalem. Then lay siege against it: Construct a siege wall, build a ramp to it, set up camps against it, and place battering rams around it on all sides. Then take an iron plate and set it up as an iron wall between yourself and the city. Turn your face toward it so that it is under siege, and besiege it. This will be a sign to the house of Israel.
Replying to @ezekiel.son.of.buzi
A priest. Laying siege to a brick.
“Now you, son of man, take a brick, place it before you, and draw on it the city of Jerusalem. Then lay siege against it: Construct a siege wall, build a ramp to it, set up camps against it, and place battering rams around it on all sides.
Next: lying on my left side. 390 days, a day for every year of Israel's wrongdoing. Then 40 days on my right side for Judah. Tied with ropes so I can't turn over until it's done.
Then lie down on your left side and place the iniquity of the house of Israel upon yourself. You are to bear their iniquity for the number of days you lie on your side. For I have assigned to you 390 days, according to the number of years of their iniquity. So you shall bear the iniquity of the house of Israel. When you have completed these days, lie down again, but on your right side, and bear the iniquity of the house of Judah. I have assigned to you 40 days, a day for each year. You must turn your face toward the siege of Jerusalem with your arm bared, and prophesy against it. Now behold, I will tie you up with ropes so you cannot turn from side to side until you have finished the days of your siege.
Replying to @ezekiel.son.of.buzi
390 days. Mate, that's more than a year.
For I have assigned to you 390 days, according to the number of years of their iniquity. So you shall bear the iniquity of the house of Israel.
The LORD's power came on me, and his Spirit set me down in the middle of a valley full of bones. He led me all round them. So many. And very dry. He asked me: son of man, can these bones live? I said, Lord GOD, only you know.
The hand of the LORD was upon me, and He brought me out by His Spirit and set me down in the middle of the valley, and it was full of bones. He led me all around among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, and indeed, they were very dry. Then He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones come to life?” “O Lord GOD,” I replied, “only You know.”
Replying to @ezekiel.son.of.buzi
He told me to prophesy to them. Dry bones, listen to the word of the LORD. So I did. And as I was speaking, a noise. A rattling. The bones came together, bone to bone. Then tendons. Then flesh. Then skin. But there was no breath in them.
And He said to me, “Prophesy concerning these bones and tell them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Lord GOD says to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh grow upon you and cover you with skin. I will put breath within you so that you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.’” So I prophesied as I had been commanded. And as I prophesied, there was suddenly a noise, a rattling, and the bones came together, bone to bone. As I looked on, tendons appeared on them, flesh grew, and skin covered them; but there was no breath in them.
You won’t believe what happened today. We were hiding at the back of a cave near En-gedi, and who walks in to relieve himself? Saul.
Soon Saul came to the sheepfolds along the road, where there was a cave, and he went in to relieve himself. And David and his men were hiding in the recesses of the cave.
Replying to @davidsmen
Told David this was the day the LORD talked about. He crept up and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. That’s it. A corner.
So David’s men said to him, “This is the day about which the LORD said to you, ‘Behold, I will deliver your enemy into your hand, that you may do with him as you wish.’” Then David crept up and stealthily cut off a corner of Saul’s robe.
The king jumped up. Asked us: didn’t we throw three men in, tied up? Certainly, Your Majesty. And he says: look. I can see four men, untied, walking around in the fire, not hurt. And the fourth looks like a son of the gods.
Suddenly King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in amazement and asked his advisers, “Did we not throw three men, firmly bound, into the fire?” “Certainly, O king,” they replied. “Look!” he exclaimed. “I see four men, unbound and unharmed, walking around in the fire—and the fourth looks like a son of the gods!”
Replying to @royal.adviser
He went to the door of the furnace and called them out, and out they came. We all crowded round. The fire hadn’t touched them. Not a hair singed. Clothes fine. They didn’t even smell of smoke.
Then Nebuchadnezzar approached the door of the blazing fiery furnace and called out, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out!” So Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out of the fire, and when the satraps, prefects, governors, and royal advisers had gathered around, they saw that the fire had no effect on the bodies of these men. Not a hair of their heads was singed, their robes were unaffected, and there was no smell of fire on them.
Replying to @nebuchadnezzar
He was still saying it when a voice came from heaven: the kingdom has been taken from you. That very hour he was driven away from people. He ate grass like cattle, and was soaked with dew, until his hair grew like eagles’ feathers and his nails like birds’ claws.
While the words were still in the king’s mouth, a voice came from heaven: “It is decreed to you, King Nebuchadnezzar, that the kingdom has departed from you. You will be driven away from mankind to live with the beasts of the field, and you will feed on grass like an ox. And seven times will pass you by, until you acknowledge that the Most High rules over the kingdom of mankind and gives it to whom He wishes.” At that moment the sentence against Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled. He was driven away from mankind. He ate grass like an ox, and his body was drenched with the dew of heaven, until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird.
Okay, what. Fingers. A human hand, writing on the plaster wall by the lampstand. The king’s watching it. He’s gone white. His legs have given way and his knees are knocking together.
At that moment the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall, near the lampstand in the royal palace. As the king watched the hand that was writing, his face grew pale and his thoughts so alarmed him that his hips gave way and his knees knocked together.
Replying to @guest.at.the.feast
He’s shouting for the enchanters. Whoever reads it gets purple robes, a gold chain and third place in the kingdom. Literally not one of them can even read it.
The king called out for the enchanters, astrologers, and diviners to be brought in, and he said to these wise men of Babylon, “Whoever reads this inscription and tells me its interpretation will be clothed in purple and have a gold chain placed around his neck, and he will be made the third highest ruler in the kingdom.” So all the king’s wise men came in, but they could not read the inscription or interpret it for him.
Elisha dies and is buried. Some time later, some Israelites are burying a man when they spot a band of Moabite raiders. They throw the body into Elisha’s tomb. The moment it touches Elisha’s bones, the man comes back to life and stands up.
And Elisha died and was buried. Now the Moabite raiders used to come into the land every spring. Once, as the Israelites were burying a man, suddenly they saw a band of raiders, so they threw the man’s body into Elisha’s tomb. And as soon as his body touched the bones of Elisha, the man was revived and stood up on his feet.
Replying to @booksofkings
We just threw him in. Then he stood up on his feet.
Once, as the Israelites were burying a man, suddenly they saw a band of raiders, so they threw the man’s body into Elisha’s tomb. And as soon as his body touched the bones of Elisha, the man was revived and stood up on his feet.
It’s been ages. We’ve all been watching him. Nothing. Not even a swelling.
But Paul shook the creature off into the fire and suffered no ill effects. The islanders were expecting him to swell up or suddenly drop dead. But after waiting a long time and seeing nothing unusual happen to him, they changed their minds and said he was a god.
Replying to @malta.islander
Right. Not a murderer. He’s a god.
The islanders were expecting him to swell up or suddenly drop dead. But after waiting a long time and seeing nothing unusual happen to him, they changed their minds and said he was a god.
I don’t know how to say this. The tombs that broke open on Friday. People who belonged to God, who’d died, have been raised. I’ve seen one of them, here in the city. I’m not the only one.
The tombs broke open, and the bodies of many saints who had fallen asleep were raised. After Jesus’ resurrection, when they had come out of the tombs, they entered the holy city and appeared to many people.
The early church had some very strange weeks.
The streets are rammed. People are carrying their sick out on beds and mats, hoping Peter’s shadow will fall on them as he walks past. They’re coming in from all the towns round Jerusalem. Every one of them is healed.
As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on cots and mats, so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. Crowds also gathered from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing the sick and those tormented by unclean spirits, and all of them were healed.
It’s got to the point where people take handkerchiefs and aprons that have touched Paul to the sick, and they get better.
God did extraordinary miracles through the hands of Paul, so that even handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched him were taken to the sick, and the diseases and evil spirits left them.
Have you heard about Sceva’s sons? Seven of them, a chief priest’s boys, going round trying to drive out evil spirits in the name of “the Jesus Paul preaches”. One spirit answered back: Jesus I know, Paul I know about, but who are you? Then the man jumped on them. They ran out of that house naked and bleeding.
Now there were some itinerant Jewish exorcists who tried to invoke the name of the Lord Jesus over those with evil spirits. They would say, “I command you by Jesus, whom Paul proclaims.” Seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. But one day the evil spirit responded, “Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?” Then the man with the evil spirit jumped on them and overpowered them all. The attack was so violent that they ran out of the house naked and wounded.
Then we passed some water. “Look, water. What’s stopping me being baptised?” Nothing, as it turned out. He baptised me, and when we came up out of the water he was gone. I went on home full of joy.
As they traveled along the road and came to some water, the eunuch said, “Look, here is water! What is there to prevent me from being baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and Philip baptized him. When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord carried Philip away, and the eunuch saw him no more, but went on his way rejoicing.
Replying to @candacestreasurer
Next thing I knew I was in Azotus.
But Philip appeared at Azotus and traveled through that region, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he came to Caesarea.
Middle of the night, and he comes walking to us across the lake. We thought it was a ghost. “It’s me. Don’t be afraid.” So I said, if it’s you, tell me to come. He said, “Come.” I got out of the boat.
During the fourth watch of the night, Jesus went out to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost!” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus spoke up at once: “Take courage! It is I. Do not be afraid.” “Lord, if it is You,” Peter replied, “command me to come to You on the water.” “Come,” said Jesus. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water, and came toward Jesus.
Replying to @simonpeter
And I walked. On the water. Honestly. Then I saw the wind and started to sink. Shouted for him to save me. He grabbed me. Asked why I doubted. Such little faith.
“Come,” said Jesus. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the strength of the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and took hold of Peter. “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?”
He was just there, standing among us. “Peace be with you.” We thought we were seeing a ghost. He told us to touch him and see. A ghost doesn't have flesh and bones.
While they were describing these events, Jesus Himself stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” But they were startled and frightened, thinking they had seen a spirit. “Why are you troubled,” Jesus asked, “and why do doubts arise in your hearts? Look at My hands and My feet. It is I Myself. Touch Me and see—for a spirit does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.”
Replying to @thebelievers
Showed us his hands and feet. We were so happy we still couldn't believe it. Then he asked if we had anything to eat, and ate a piece of grilled fish right in front of us.
And when He had said this, He showed them His hands and feet. While they were still in disbelief because of their joy and amazement, He asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” So they gave Him a piece of broiled fish, and He took it and ate it in front of them.
Every one of these is really in there. Go and look.
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